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Describe how the goals we choose are related to the emotions we feel. Offer personal illustrations.
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If we have lost our capacity to choose based upon the situations that we have encountered in our lives, we will choose lesser desires. The goals that we sent for ourselves will be based upon our feelings and not on the reality of who God wants to be in our lives. Unfortunately, the goals we set would not be spirit lead goals, but will be from a place of foolishness, which leads to wrong choices.
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I have had many desired goals in life, from schooling, to career, to family. I settled on what I desired at a young age, and have largely held to those desired commitments i made to myself and to God. In order to settle on my desired life goals, i looked at my life as I perceived it, and made a premeditated decision, based upon my young adult understanding as to what vision I desired my life to look like at 30-40-50-and then at my retirement. At this time I knew who God was growing up catholic, but I had yet to form a relationship with Him. I was truly lost in the deep emotions that came with my youth. But I saw what I wanted in life in others, in movies, in the books I read. My emotions told me I would be involved in my families lives since my family had nothing to do with mine. My emotions told me I wanted success because I was used to being comfortable, and I liked it. As I grew, I learned that what I really needed was the involvement of God in my life, and that made all of my emotional decision baseless, since God is my provider and my comfort. He is my everything. And that is sufficient for me.
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Dr Crabb taught that when we were unable to achieve the goals we choose, emotions follows. Such as when we have uncertain goals, we felt anxious; and when our goals were blocked, we felt anger. Likewise, when we made unreachable goals, we developed self-hatred for our incompetent.
In my past experience, my goals was to be an effective people helper. Yet in the process of moving towards my goals, being in my inert foolishness, I felt anxiety of my competence and in the twist and turn of things, felt that I was not able to achieve my goals, also developed self-hatred.
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According to Dr Crabb, uncertain goals lead to anxiety; blocked goals lead to anger; unreachable goals lead to self-hatred.
I think he means that we feel uncertain whether a goal will really give us the desired results for happiness, we will feel anxious. This was so in the years of pursuing a PhD when my professor would repeatedly throw back my thesis draft, and for a long time there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. If instead we feel certain about the goal but someone obstructs it such that we may never attain it, we feel angry towards that person. This might have been so when a leader self-righteously barred me from continuing to help out another church in the name of ‘right vision’. Finally, if we set an unreachable goal, we will somehow hate ourselves for not being clever enough or competent enough to attain it.
#SoulCare
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As Dr. Crabb suggests, uncertain goals produce anxiety: I’m trying to make enough money, but I can’t figure out how. Blocked goals lead to anger: I have a band that I know can make it big time, but they refuse to step up. Unreachable goals produce self-hatred: I can’t stay in a stable relationship no matter how hard I try. What is wrong with me?