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Describe how the goals we choose are related to the emotions we feel. Offer personal illustrations.
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I described this to some extent in the second discussion question. I grew up in a home where I cant recall ever being hugged or told I was loved. My parents loved me but the only time I really felt like they really approved of me was when I performed well. I was pretty fair as a soloist in church and also did pretty well in school. When I did those things well and got praise for them, that’s when I experienced good feelings and a sense of “this is what I need to do to feel good about myself. “
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As image-bearers who are given the capacity to feel in a fallen world, (not the world we were designed for), our feelings range from positive emotions to negative emotions. With this in mind, we will choose goals that will increase the positive emotions as well as avoid goals that lead to negative emotions. Since our capacity to choose and our capacity to feel have both been corrupted by the fall, we will in our own ability and not be dependent on God, fail in the attempt to make life work. An example for me is that in my learned foolishness, I believed that no one can be trusted and I need to take care of myself. To depend on me for protection, for survival, for life. No one is going to do it for me. As a result I keep people at a safe distance and don’t let others into my soul…at least not too far in.
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We tend to choose goals that will make us feel good. Sometimes God chooses to put us through trials to refine us. I loved being able to be a caretaker as a nurse, a minister in the jail, and working with children. These roles limited me and God wanted growth so he brought me out of them or more accurately to take a break from them to help me grow and to be able to use his giftings in more effective ways better and more often. I am still seeking which is the direction to take – continue working or retirement to be able to minister in ways that will bring the most fruit.
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Confident through competence in a ‘result-oriented’ culture – hence raising the bench-mark is often a personal goal. It goes down well with some, but it also led to adverse reactions that caused me to be displaced. Confidence continues to co-exist with anxieties as I seek the next meaningful placement. What is my goal? A sustainable livelihood (legitimate), A supportive work environment (legitimate), a journey that reflects my faith and relationship in God (legitimate). Apparently, the pace of waiting during this time is slow, much slower… How do I feel? the tension of confident in God and anxieties of life – at the same time.
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We tend to move in the direction of our emotions. For instance, the thing that we desire the most is the thing that we will move towards. As a child I longed to be accepted and valued among my peers. I believed that this would bring true happiness and fulfillment, so I studied how to reach that goal. I behaved in a way that would help me to be liked. My heart told me that acceptance is the single most important thing in life so my behavior constantly worked towards that goal.