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What tends to be your goal in a conflict with your spouse? Has anything in this lesson changed your perspective on conflict?
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My goal in a conflict with my spouse is to be able to see where she is coming from. For example, we all have values and beliefs and when we learn to hold our values and beliefs close, we in turn are able to see the other person’s ideas. This doesn’t mean we accept their ideas, but it gives us a better understanding of where the person is coming from. And inturn they too should be willing to hear your side of the conflict and where you are coming from.
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My goal is to have healthy conflict. Identifying all his flaws and bringing up the past does not contribute to healthy arguments. The lesson has encouraged me to think about the process of how I treat my husband and focus less on what caused the problem and trying to prove him wrong.
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My goal seems to want to be right versus understanding why we are in the conflict in the first place. This lesson has caused me to examine that flawed view and understand that after the conflict is over, my wife’s emotional state is in disarray. I have not loved her by putting her needs above my own, in fact, selfishness has been my unintended outcome.
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Usually, I just want the conflict to end so I give in to what he wants. This lesson has made me think about the reasons there has been conflict and how I could have handled things better.
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At beginning winning the argument but after getting worts change to win win solution