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What tends to be your goal in a conflict with your spouse? Has anything in this lesson changed your perspective on conflict?
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Husband: The thing that has changed in my perspective is the way that you perceive me in the conflict or in hell I’m reacting to the conflict in my life and in years..
Wife: I tend to have a goal of being heard whenever in conflict. The thing that has changed my perspective on conflict based on this exercise is the alternative view from my spouse that helps me to see myself during the conflict. Hopefully I will be able to use his examples as a way to work through any emotions or learned behaviors that can keep me from pursuing a resolution.
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It depends what the conflict is……if I think I’m right, then I’ll try to argue it out…..but most times I just shut down…….
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I am not sure that I have an overt goal during conflict, but I do know that I tend to react poorly when I don’t feel appreciated or respected. This always results in some level of conflict where I make my wife feel bad by the way I respond. Now I see I can change everything by changing how I respond. Instead of lashing out with hurt feelings, I can explain my feelings while showing forgiveness and kindness.
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To try for better understanding of where she comes from and try to make change her way the way she thinks about her self.
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My goal in a conflict with my spouse is to arrive at win-win, a resolution wherein we have both heard each other’s perspective. Listening to each other’s words, gestures, and intonations to ensure we are fully listening. Focusing on a solution that is better for our marriage than our individual desires. “A three-fold chord is not easily broken.” Seeking the opportunity be better at the end of our conflict than we were before the conflict arose.
Affirmation of our approach to conflict resolution and to understand the plans that God has for us