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Why is it a mistake to focus on retreating, advising, or empathizing while attempting to provide SoulCare? Which of these three mistakes are you personally more likely to make as you attempt to engage in SoulCare? What do you think predisposes you to make that mistake?
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Those are mistakes of SoulCare. We will end up wanting achieve without depending on the Spirit of God. When we don’t depend on the Spirit , people we are providing SoulCare will still remain with no appetite for God and may seek solution elsewhere other than God.
Retreat is what I am likely to face. Sometimes people I met are poverty stricken. They come with issues of no food, no money, no job and mostly I feel overwhelmed by their situations. -
It is a mistake to focus on retreating if we feel a bit overwhelmed by what the other person is sharing, advising, or empathising in SoulCare as we can do these in our own strength. If we retreat, we are looking after ourselves and not trusting the Holy Spirit to come through. Advising is fixing the presenting issue in our own strength, rather than going beneath, looking at deeper issues and trusting the Holy Spirit to move. We also ask the other person to carry out our advice in their own strength. It is too easy and may often fail. We need to journey with the person, be a presence for them, and listen for what they are experiencing and where the Spirit is moving. However, empathy can be a good thing if it builds trust and opens the door for true SoulCare to take place.
I am more likely to empathise, as it is easy. It can be just making appropriate noises at the right time, which is not what SoulCare is all about. I do it because I want the person to feel heard and to know I agree that things are hard for them. I want them to trust me and open up to me in the hopes I can help them.
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It is a mistake because it’s like putting a band aid on a gunshot wound. It does not address the root cause, will not correct the problem and does not lead to the passion of wanting God more than anything else. The mistake I am more likely to make is advise. In my conversations with others and their issues, there has been the urge to advise based on my past experiences with similar situations. Also, it has been most typical for those I’ve dealt with to follow the discussion with the question, “what do you think I should do?”
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It is easy to empathize with someone because the other person might like that. I am often tempted to feel good about myself by being able to give someone some advice that would make them change for the better. The problem with all of these mistakes is that I’m making it about me and not more interested in God’s glory and what he’s up to.
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None of these three movements get to the depth of the soul. I must be willing to move deeper to encourage my friend to recognize there is more. That means that I must stay with them in nasty circumstances, wait for the Spirit to raise up life in their soul.