Discussion Questions
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In this lesson, Dr. Welch says, “There is no right way to grieve.” Do you agree? Have you ever seen someone grieve in a way that you thought was “wrong”? Explain.
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I agree, because emotions are a part of human nature, even part of being created in God’s image. Sometimes, we cannot help it that we feel a certain emotion in a certain situation. Of course, to avoid becoming dysfunctional, we must not allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the emotion, for example anger and unforgiveness, but even this needs time to process and heal. Since going into counseling, I have learned not to judge a certain way of grieving as “wrong”.
#loss
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I agree with this and believe that grief is a process that’s ongoing and based on each person and each circumstance
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There is no one way to grieve and we all grieve differently and at different times. There is no schedule for grievance, we take each day as it comes. With the Lords help we continue to move forward.
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There is no way to know how a person will respond to a loss. My mother is up in age and just experiencing life with her during these times is overwhelming. Most of the time I am living by faith and do not know if she is still here or already dead. Letting go of your soul provider, guardian, and/or protector is the hardest thing ever. I can remember when I was a little girl I lost my brother in death, it was the hardest thing in the world to let him go. I carried that grief until I was 20 years old. The only thing canceled that grief was more grief. Today I do not know if that is how grief works but I do know I welcome it lessor and lessor every day of my life.
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I’m grieving now. I lost my nephew December 14th of last year by way of homicide. I’m trying to be okay but the pain and depression won’t let up. My sister unfortunately has started to drink more heavily. She lost her only child. She becomes rather mean and volatile when she drinks, which causes a lot of disruption in the family. I understand her pain but not from a mother’s perspective because I don’t have children but the way she treats people and her drunken bouts aren’t the way to behave. As a family we’ve tried to get her professional help in a really nice facility that takes care of everything at no cost but she’s refused the help. Her behavior has become too much to bare. Her actions are hurting herself and others. Depression has definitely set in but she chooses to remain in this state rather than accept the help she’s offered. I believe this is the wrong way to grieve because she’s become a danger to herself. It seems she rather drink and not work than to obtain healing.
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O dear, this is so difficult…
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Reflect on the C. S. Lewis quote: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” In what ways do you think grief feels like fear? How does that make coping with grief/loss difficult?
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In my opinion and experience, grief feels akin to fear because my mind is more focused on loss and then begins to escalate to the fear of losing other loved ones. The what if’s take over and I become anxious about bad things happening all the time. Questions like who’s going to be next and when. Grief can make you afraid to leave the house, live your life, obsess over lack of peace and security you’ve once had. You can’t move forward because of looking back and you’re too afraid of the unknown. It’s impossible to think and see clearly when you’re always afraid.
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Grief is definitely fear of the unknown and a new reality. Fear makes loss difficult because you are making decisions and trying to function from a place of uncertainty. You may have loss your support system.
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Grief is like fear in the view that where grief occurs it can be so overwhelming that you cannot do anything. Fear can produce a similar emotional response. Helplessness is grief and fear response that are synonymous.
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There is a void in your life that needs to be filled.
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I hadn’t thought of grief feeling like fear. Anytime I’ve experienced grief the fear has come before the loss or after, not during the actual grief (of a person). Unless I was unsure where a family member may spend eternity. I do think it depends on the type of grief a person may be experiencing. Loss of freedom, a relationship, or during COVID was a fearful time. Fear can be difficult to deal with but trusting in God is always important and remembering we are NEVER alone. God is always with us. In times of loss leaning in on God in these times are the most important times. He will see us through.