Discussion Questions
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In this lesson, Dr. Welch says, “There is no right way to grieve.” Do you agree? Have you ever seen someone grieve in a way that you thought was “wrong”? Explain.
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I agree that there is no right way to grieve. Loss can affect people in different ways. When my sister passed away, I was devastated. It took me years to get over her death. We were close and were living together while I attended college. She was very young, and her illness grew very quickly. We didn’t know how sick she was until I went to her job and found her doubled over in her office. I rushed her to the hospital where she spent the remainder of her days (around 2 months). She had cancer and it progressed quickly. I would shake and break down for months after her death. Every year at any holiday my nerves would cause uncontrollable shaking at times when I sat and thought about her. As years passed, I got better and didn’t break down as much. It’s been 22 years and I still get saddened when I think of the time that we have lost together but I am able to handle my emotions.
My oldest brother passed away after my sister, also from cancer. We knew he was sick and was able to spend a lot of time together. His passing was hard, but I grieved differently than I did with my sister.
My father passed away in 2016. I was always a daddy’s girl, so it shook me to the core. Although he was 83 and we also knew he was sick, I didn’t handle his passing very well. I cried nonstop for two weeks and couldn’t leave my house or move off the couch. Finally, my family begged me to try to live and take care of myself. It took me realizing that I had to live for them in order for me to try to start coping with his death. I still cry at holidays and on his birthday at times, but it is getting easier to cope with as time passes.
There is no one way to grieve right or wrong. We are human beings and grief is something that comes in many shapes and forms.
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I totally agree there is no right or wrong way. Everyone is different and thus expresses their emotions differently. Important thing is to avoid deep grieving that will hurt our overall well being profoundly resulting in physical and mental deterioration. Family and friends support are crucial.
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No I have not. We have to look at others as individuals who will all grieve differently.
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I agree that people are different, so it is no surprise that our responses with bouts of grief oppose each other.
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I have not, however I have been told during my grieving process that “I should be over that now.” I do believe there is no right way to grieve.
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Reflect on the C. S. Lewis quote: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” In what ways do you think grief feels like fear? How does that make coping with grief/loss difficult?
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Grief feels like fear because one can feel helpless and without hope. Grief will also cause you feel that no one cares and you are all alone. When grief feels like fear it’s hard to cope. Fear paralyzes you.
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The anxiety grief creates makes it feel like fear. It seems never ending.
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I did not think of grief as fear but I now understand how that can be. A big part for me is the fear of the ‘unknown’ of what death ‘feels’ like. The other big fear is what about my life and my future without my loved one. It is only by trusting that God will never leave or forsake me that I can truly move beyond that fear and begin to find hope and even joy for my future knowing Iam safe in the arms of God.
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I think that we all fear the unknown, and grief is an unknown until it happens to you. We fear our own abilities if we married young and were never alone, never on our on. We fear a future without someone, we have to face our own mortality, we have to stand on our own two feet alone. This is true for loss of a spouse and loss of any relationship where the person is removed from your life.
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Fear of the unknown, What is this going to be like now without ….