Discussion Questions
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In this lesson, Dr. Welch says, “There is no right way to grieve.” Do you agree? Have you ever seen someone grieve in a way that you thought was “wrong”? Explain.
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I have not seen any “out of the ordinary” ways someone would go through or would express grief. However, I have seen people experience grief over a significant period of time (years), and did not appear to ever be able to move past it.
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Everybody grieves in a different way. I remember rea in 2 Sam. 12: 16ff. Where David’s child was sick and David fasted all night for the child and he, David, laid all night on the ground and prayed for the child and when the child died David got up and anointed himself and carried on.
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I totally agree. People grieve in many ways, it’s a journey. I can’t say it was wrong the way someone grieved. I’ve been there, and personally, I didn’t know how to grieve I just wanted the pain to stop.
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I do agree with Dr. Welch. However, I have witnessed others engaging in unhealthy ways of coping, such as drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, using harmful drugs, thoughts of suicide, and committing suicide.
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There is real freedom in this statement. I just am finishing a book on grief counseling, and am sensing a rigid emphasis on steps, etc. Of course, if we were to approach grief outside of a biblical context, this might be necessary. Each person is different, in a different degree of growth. It would seem that grief is deeply personal, and each individual deserves to be treated individually, taking the time to honestly let God work in their spirit.
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Reflect on the C. S. Lewis quote: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” In what ways do you think grief feels like fear? How does that make coping with grief/loss difficult?
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Sometimes when experiencing loss you come to a place you never known and because of that you don’t always know how to deal, where to turn to, who can understand , all these things and more make coping difficult.
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There are many ways in which grief feels like fear.
Grief blindsides a person just as fear does. Even if one expects the death, the reality of it can hit unexpectedly hard. Both grief and fear affect our physical bodies, our thinking, our emotions, and our relationship with God. Our physical bodies tense and eating becomes hard because our energy is diverted to surviving, just as it is if we are afraid.
We can’t think rationally and find making decisions difficult, our emotions are out of sync, and we may question God’s provision or protection, just as we may do when we are fearful.
This response to grief makes coping with grief or loss difficult as we are below par in so many areas of our life. We feel captive to grief and in a struggle to free ourselves from captivity. -
Grief can feel like fear for several reasons. Grief comes because of a loss. You may have lost a companion, care giver, provider and this makes you fearful for what your life will become. Death makes us realize our own mortality which can cause fear to rise up in us also.
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So here I am. Actually experience all five of the types of loss described in this lesson. All of them have occurred at the same time. I don’t even know when I’m grieving what. It’s fearful in the sense of not really being certain I will ever grieve any one of these completely. Fear of building a new life. Feeling violated from the loss of “material goods”. And on and on. Each morning I’m fearful of which loss is gong to try to take its toll on me. But through all of this I would say I haven’t lost faith or hope in the promises of God. I lean on them. So much more to this then anyone can imagine.
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The not knowing what is causing the pain and why….. is the big question.But thank God for his word and his healing and for the faithful servants of God that can write about it so we can be set free and healed.