• Discussion Forum

  Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.

  Austin replied 2 months ago 200 Members · 207 Replies

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  Austin

  Administrator

  10/11/2024 at 22:35

  While all of the above is valid, for me It begins with my childhood. Opening up was discouraged. I was taught that everything about myself is personal, and therefore, no one else’s business. That also meant their life isn’t my business either. I deal with my mess, they deal with theirs. You made your bed, you sleep in it. Your life is your responsibility. Don’t expect others to cry with you when you spill the milk. Just like I won’t when I do. I have always listened to other’s talk about their life, but my ‘inner self’ has always been crying out ‘take responsibility for your mess and get over it’. And to be honest… I feel horrible that I still can’t shake the disgusting attitude

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  Austin

  Administrator

  09/25/2024 at 12:16

  MY experience is that anyone of these feeling has shown up in my interactions with other people.

  It depends on the situation and the people i meet and my own spiritual condition at time all have a part is my interaction with people known and unknow. Sometime without warning i can see somebody i know but will not want to have an interaction with them. Standing in elevator with people you do not know becomes uncomfortable. Person with mental illness that you see past along the streets . I first response is not to turn to them. People hurting entering their space . is not the first response to turn to them . I do not know what to say or how to approach the person. and especially if you do not know them. the inadequacy and awkwardness are not feeling of turn to me.

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  Austin

  Administrator

  09/19/2024 at 21:24

  I wold say the formost reason is that we as people tend to either care too much about what people think (will they judge me, am I putting too much on them, is this socially appropriate) or too little (it’s not my business, I’m too busy, I don’t really know this person that well). We structure our relationships to follow certain rules, and we do a poor job balancing the line of how much to share.

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  Austin

  Administrator

  09/18/2024 at 20:02

  Today it is more difficult for us to turn our chairs toward one another because we are too busy with other things we think need more of our time. Social media is one of things that take control of people’s time today. If we need to make a major impact of other’s lives we really need to start turning those chairs. People are really going through tough times and seeking for help. As for me, my inner motive to shelter has pushed to not turn my chair, after this course I hope to get better reason to leave my shell and start turning the chair.

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  Austin

  Administrator

  09/04/2024 at 19:28

  Most people say they don’t have time,, our world has become over whelmed by electronics like cell phone, etc. That has created a distance that is difficult to overcome and easy to hide behind, making it difficult if not impossible to form deeper relationships. It seems that more and more folks are abeciming

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