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Lesson OneIntroduction to SoulCare: Getting Started on the Journey3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TwoThe First Task in Learning to Provide SoulCare: Knowing What You're After and What It Takes to Get There3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson ThreeA Personal Search: Beginning with an Inside Look3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FourThe Concept of Ruling Passions: What Energy Carries You into the Life of Another3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson FiveBrokenness: The Key to Releasing the Power of SoulCare3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SixThe Good and the Bad in the Human Soul: Self-Need vs. Soul-Thirst3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson SevenEntering the Battle for Another's Soul: The First Step3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson EightWisdom: A Roadmap for Entering the Soul Without Getting Lost3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson NineGetting into the Battle: Moving Below the Waterline from the Presenting Problem to the Story of the Soul3 Activities1 Assessment
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Lesson TenAgents of Growth: What SoulCare Can Do in Our Lives3 Activities1 Assessment
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Course Wrap-UpCourse Completion1 Activity1 Assessment
Participants 1
Discussion Questions
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Dr. Crabb talks about our tendency to keep relationships shallow using the image of “not turning our chairs toward one another.” Why is it so difficult for us to “turn our chairs”? In other words, why are we reluctant to let anyone really know us? As you think about your answer, consider these possible reasons: Don’t have time. Don’t want to get involved. Don’t care. Feel inadequate and awkward. Don’t know how to form deeper relationships. Not culturally acceptable. Explain several possible reasons (using your own or from the list above) and then give an example from your experience that demonstrates which reason most often keeps you from turning your chair towards others.
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I agree with Dr. Crabb, as I experience this tendency myself. I know for me I tend to not turn my chair towards others for fear of rejection and or judgement. This society is super judgmental making it hard for people to really feel free to open up to others. I see it a lot in the black church, where people will make someone feel bad about a decision or mistake that one has made. This becomes problematic as people shy away from bringing their issues to the church for fear that their business will be shared and instead of praying for and helping the lost they in end up feeling worst for telling their truths.
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Most people are afraid of “turning their chairs” to face another because of a fear of shame. This is likely because they’ve opened up to people in the past and been burned. That trauma prevents them from wanting to open up to another. They also might be putting on a facade so as to keep up appearances and not appear “weak” or “vulnerable”. They are essentially acting a certain role, and this could come from a place of self-preservation, or simply, ego. Another possible reason for this could be that they don’t feel comfortable having other people open up and be vulnerable around them. They feel no need to get close to people and so in turn, are shut off to having other people turn their chairs towards them. I’m going to use myself as an example. I opened up to a co-worker about my depression. She appeared empathetic and even claimed to have words from God for me (she’s Christian). I felt comfortable with her and in the end, she blamed me and made me feel terrible about my mental illness and kept calling me insecure. It took me a very long time to realise that I shouldn’t let that negative experience define the whole of humanity. Jesus died for us for a reason. I just needed to find people that I could ACTUALLY be safe around and be able to discern this more effectively by being spirit led as opposed to being swayed by nice words.
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I think that it’s difficult to get involved in peoples situation because we are afraid of being rejected as well while we are trying to help others sometimes they push us away and some of us have a hard time excepting rejection even if we are skilled at helping others it pierces are inner being even to our soul-Once we start making soul ties and letting people in things become a lot more difficult!
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It is hard for me personally to develop a deeper relationship with others because I am afraid that people won’t accept me if they know who I am, or they are too busy meddling their own live that I will be laid bare after exposing myself. The other reason is that there is this demand for me to perform and be the role model for others, and failure in doing so will bring rejection from them to me.
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I Think it’s more difficult as you get older because you’ve been hurt by people. People that were supposed to be your friends and that you got close to all need to be betrayed. I find this in other people as well. They are wary and not sure about sharing anything less than superficial things about themselves. I teach Christian exercise courses in the best way I have found is that I prayer for each of my students. If God has some thing he wants me to help them with it usually comes to the surface and I can listen and get an idea where they’re coming from. I ask questions letting them know I have an interest in them. Basically try to treat them how I would like people to treat me.
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